


Eight to the Bar

by babesrgrs



Series: Don't look back [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29606364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babesrgrs/pseuds/babesrgrs
Summary: The young man in love that exists beneath the Sturm und Drang of the Winter Soldier inspires both Steve and Tony.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Don't look back [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/874836
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Eight to the Bar

**Author's Note:**

> This is tonally mixed with the two POVs and you can kinda see at which point I opened the wine ;D.

Steve was lost in his thoughts so much so that he nearly missed Bucky reclining on the sofa, feet on the table, book laid down next to him.

It was still crazy to Steve that Bucky was actually alive and relatively well, that he could just be found relaxing in Steve’s rooms like it was nothing out of the ordinary – that it was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Bucky, hi,” he greeted and changed his direction to join Bucky on the sofa. Bucky turned to look at him and his smile at seeing Steve tugged at Steve’s heartstrings.

He hadn’t lied when he’d told Bucky he’d never really thought of him that way but closer to the absolute truth would have been that he hadn’t ever given himself the permission to think about Bucky like that.

Bucky had been his all. After his mother dying, he’d had nobody else and Bucky had been beautiful and healthy, smart and sharp with a kind heart – that he chose to spend most of his free time with Steve was far too precious for Steve to risk by falling in love with him.

The first time he’d realized that he’d do anything to see Bucky grin with abandon they’d run for their lives fleeing from Jimmy Brady and his flock of bullies, utilizing their secret route through Mr. Rooney’s bakery, climbing on top of the bakery dumpster and from there to the fire escape, all the way up to the roof of the low-rise. After Steve had regained his breath, and they were sure they’d made their escape, they’d started laughing, feeling giddy for having out-smarted the older boys. Even though Steve had been just fourteen, watching Bucky’s toothy smile, he had known exactly what the sudden butterflies in his stomach were about. 

He had also known he had no place to feel like that about Bucky, no right to want that.

So he didn’t. He locked it up and threw the key away, not letting himself have a stray thought about Bucky or any other boy, for that matter. He’d had enough on his plate handling some of his unattainable crushes to girls, anyway.

That had worked so well that even when he had forgone the habit of denying his attraction to men – mostly due to having to rebuild his life in the future and partly due to Tony worming his way so insistently under Steve’s skin – he hadn’t thought about Bucky.

Why would he have? Bucky had been dead and when it turned out he wasn’t, he wasn’t interested in men, and even if he had been, he certainly didn’t care for Steve like that. They’d been best friends for over two decades – lived decades – Steve would have known if there was something like that going on.

What could he say? He was an idiot.

Now, with things having changed so completely between them, Steve let the tenderness and affection he felt for Bucky fill him. He’d do anything to see him smiling and free.

“What?” Bucky asked when Steve had stared at him for a good minute without saying anything.

“We need to talk,” Steve said, his conversation with Tony on the forefront of his mind. Among the rest of the fairly surprising revelations, Tony had heavily implied that Bucky was disappointed about Steve’s lack of follow-up to their night.

Bucky visibly recoiled which was pretty awful.

“It’s not what you think,” Steve hurried to say. Bucky looked away, suddenly anything but relaxed, looking like he wanted to flee. 

“Would you rather talk later? Or – do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Unless you’re offering your lap, this works just fine,” Bucky muttered, somehow simultaneously dry and vulnerable.

“Uh,” Steve said, intelligently. Bucky was still looking away. Then: “Please. If you’d like,” he said.

“What?” 

Steve gestured at his lap. “If you want. I mean, it’s not an optimal place for a conversation but I – I miss you. I’d like it.”

“Really?” Bucky asked, suspicious.

Steve stood up. “Or I can come onto your lap if you’d rather.”

“Steve – “

“Well?”

Bucky was still looking perplexed so Steve took initiative and straddled Bucky where he was sitting on the couch.

“Hi,” Steve said again, looking down at Bucky.

“Hi.”

“Do you mind if I kiss you?”

That brought Bucky finally out of his stupor. “Lack of permission didn’t stop you from sitting on top of me,” he pointed out.

Steve smiled. “True enough.” He leaned down and pressed his lips against Bucky’s. Almost like a counterpoint to his earlier hesitation, Bucky kissed him back hungrily and soon enough his hands had circled around Steve’s hips and he pulled Steve more snugly to his lap.

Steve leaned back, reluctantly breaking off the kiss. 

“Talk first,” he said, “please.”

Bucky looked up at him with his lips parted and a slight blush on his cheeks. It took a second for him to retain enough words to say: “Go on.”

His hands were still mostly resting on Steve’s ass and Steve raised his eyebrows to convey how really not optimal the current position was for a serious talk. Bucky shrugged but made a compromise and gripped Steve’s waist, instead.

“I have been thinking about what you said,” Steve started, “and I’ve been thinking about what we did – quite a lot, to be honest,” he confessed, which in turn got Bucky to slide his right hand down Steve’s thigh. Steve let it be there. He had prepared what to say but now all of a sudden words were lost to him. Their gazes were locked and Steve felt like Bucky must have understood him all the same, that the connection they had went beyond speech. He’d have kissed Bucky again and let it lead to where they both wanted it to lead but he did think that Bucky deserved it said out loud. 

”Bucky, I love you. I love you,” he said because at that moment it was that simple.

”Yeah, but – ”

”No buts. No reservations. I love you. In every way.”

Bucky grinned and pulled him down to kiss him. This time Steve was ready and gave in to the urgent pull of the hunger. His hands found their way to open Bucky’s shirt and touch the warm skin underneath. Armed with no patience he had Bucky’s jeans open before the thought had even really formed in his mind.

”Wait – wait,” Bucky gasped against his mouth.

Steve leaned an inch back and blinked. He waited.

”Just, was that all?”

Steve looked at Bucky confusedly, trusting Bucky would elaborate.

”It took you four days to gear up for 'I love you'?”

”In every way,” Steve reminded him.

”Yeah, but still. Man, I know you love me. And I’m sure it didn’t take you four days to decide if you liked what we did. There’s something else, about us, that made you careful. I wanna know.”

Steve sighed. He pressed a gentle kiss on Bucky’s lips before sitting back.

”I never before let myself think about you like that, not in Brooklyn, not even during the war,” Steve started, searching for words. 

”I didn’t ever really even entertain the idea because I was afraid I’d lose you if I dared to be that greedy. I was afraid what it meant that I liked men and – had I gotten that far I think I would have been afraid of putting my whole heart, my soul in the hands of just one person. When you fell – when I dropped you – ”

Bucky’s grip tightened in warning at that, but he didn’t voice his disagreement for wanting to give Steve the chance to talk.

”I can’t lose you again, I won’t survive that.” Steve said. ”I’m afraid it will go bad between us. I’m afraid I’m not enough. I’m afraid I’m not what you need. I’m afraid of hurting you.”

”But still you want this?”

Steve smiled, shrugged a bit helplessly. ”I suppose I’ve realized we both have the power to hurt each other, destroy each other, regardless of what form our relationship takes. I’ve realized I can’t fully protect you, not even from myself. And – I don’t want to protect myself from you.”

”Goddamn it, Steve,” Bucky cursed. Then: ”Thank you. Thank you for – ” here his voice broke, but he soldiered on, ”thank you for trusting me. Trusting us. For being you.”

Steve leaned down to kiss him, as tenderly as he knew how. What was this world? That after everything they’d been through, after the cards that had been dealt to them, the two of them were together here on a couch in the 21st century, letting the love they shared open up to passion. It was so precious it felt almost religious, made you have faith.

Eventually, the want returned in full force and they let the kisses turn into something heavy. They lied down on the couch, Steve on top of Bucky, undressing as much as they could without giving up physical contact.

”Just – Bucky, I love you,” Steve whispered, gasping between their kisses, in sync with the rhythm of their bodies moving together. ”I love you.”

Bucky’s hands were everywhere at once, gripping him, sliding against his sweaty skin, his leg was hooked behind Steve’s pulling them tightly against each other, giving up only the inch they needed for friction. 

Steve came first, almost surprised by it. Feeling Bucky still underneath him to give him time to get his bearings, Steve put his stamina to good use and moved quickly down Bucky’s body and nuzzled against his cock.

Bucky made a noise and sat up. He watched eyes wide open as Steve kissed the shaft, the tip before taking it inside his mouth. He gasped and grabbed Steve’s hand.

Steve squeezed his hand back and that was it for Bucky. 

Without much thought, Steve swallowed, and after Bucky’s grip on his hand had relaxed a bit, he got back up and pressed their faces together.

Later, they had cleaned up and retired to Steve’s bed, not bothering with clothes beyond underwear. 

Half of Steve’s attention was on a book he was leisurely reading, half was on Bucky who was sideways on the bed, just resting his head on Steve’s thigh and looking at the ceiling. 

”So.”

”So?” Steve asked after Bucky didn’t continue whatever it was he was saying.

”You and Stark.”

”Yes?” 

”I don’t mean to – make any insinuations. And I’m not worried. Or jealous. You like who you like, you don’t choose that.”

Steve had been expecting to talk about this, of course, and he was glad to have the chance to clear the air. He still waited to let Bucky form his question in peace.

”If he came to you tomorrow, told you he’s broken up with Potts and wants to get hitched, would you feel regret having to turn him down?”

While happy that Bucky knew he would turn Tony down, now, he wanted to point out that it did sound a bit like Bucky was worried. Or jealous.

Instead, he tried his best to answer honestly.

”You’re not the second-best if that’s what you’re asking. That particular situation wouldn’t increase any regret I might have about me and Tony. I wouldn’t feel like I – tied myself to you too soon or anything like that,” he said and put his book down. ”With Tony, I feel regret because there was a time we were both, retrospectively, very into one another but dealt with it quite badly. We always argued, even about the smallest things, and never talked about why we reacted to each other like that. Instead, I think, not talking about what was going on between us poisoned our relationship.”

Steve continued: ”Well. I mean there are real conflicts between how we think, but now, having addressed the – attraction or whatever, now that we know where we stand, it feels absurd it ever got so bad.”

Bucky thought about that for a moment before pressing the point again. ”How about feeling regret about never even once getting it on with him? Aren’t you curious what it would have been like?”

Bucky took Steve’s hand and kissed the palm to show that he truly was feeling no resentment.

”Well. Not now when you’re lying mostly naked next to me,” Steve said and got another kiss for that. 

Then he continued: ”Anyway, next time I feel wistful about never having gotten close and personal with Tony, I can always come and ask you for details.”

It was pretty funny how still Bucky went, Steve thought.

After a moment, Bucky relaxed again and gave Steve an embarrassed look. ”I was certain he wouldn’t tell you.” 

”I don’t think he meant to,” Steve said.

Bucky groaned. ”Of course. What was I thinking? Stark to not run his mouth?”

”Want to talk about it?” Steve asked and tried to keep his amusement in check, knowing Bucky might be tight-lipped if he felt Steve was laughing at him. Steve knew there was nothing going on there, but the curiosity was kind of killing him.

”I don’t know,” Bucky said. ”I just – don’t know what it was.”

He sighed. ”I guess I was just fed up with feeling like people were sorry for me.”

”What do you mean?”

Bucky covered his eyes with his arm. ”You know, poor Barnes, insane, no arm, no life, painfully in love with his best friend who then took pity on him.”

”Buck, you have to know none of that’s true. I look at you and all I feel is love and wonder.”

Bucky hit him softly on his shin, embarrassed. ”But that’s what it felt like when Stark tried to comfort me. Like, if _he_ out of everybody started to feel bad for me… Jesus Christ.”

It made Steve happy to hear that Bucky and Tony were getting along. Sort of, at least. If they could leave the past behind – that would be amazing. Still – 

”I understand. But ah, I guess I don’t see exactly how any of this leads to kissing Tony?”

Bucky shrugged. ”Just – one of those things, I guess.”

”Yeah. What things?”

”You know… I wanted to change the situation and him sitting there, being all snarky and rude and yet surprisingly decent underneath it all, it seemed like the thing to do.”

Steve took that in. Turned it around in his head.

”Bucky, are you saying you – like Tony?”

”Don’t insult me,” Bucky answered. ”Maybe momentarily,” he amended.

Steve had a hard time not grinning like an idiot. This was grade A material to tease Bucky with. He didn’t know what he’d done to be so lucky.

Speaking of being lucky, he leaned forward and pulled Bucky’s arm away from the man’s face. Bucky had barely opened his mouth in annoyance before Steve intercepted with his lips whatever complaint he might have had.

The night was a good one.

”Why are you in such a good mood,” Tony grumbled as he watched Barnes basically skip into the kitchen. Then, when his brain caught up with his mouth: ”Or you know what? Don’t answer that. I can guess. Ugh.”

The width of Barnes’s grin reminded Tony how young the man was. Going through archived material about the Winter Soldier program, Tony had calculated that by physical years, taking into consideration the years Barnes had been out of ice in Hydra’s service, he was in his mid-to-late thirties. But if you counted just the time he’d been Bucky Barnes, he was still in his twenties.

Then, out of nowhere, carefree and impulsive, Barnes jumped onto the kitchen table giving Tony almost a heart-attack and smoothly as anything put on some swing dance moves and _sang_ :

” _He puts the boys asleep with boogie every night  
And wakes 'em up the same way in the early bright  
They clap their hands and stamp their feet  
Because they know how he plays when someone gives him a beat_”

With this relatively absurd take on the Andrew Sisters Barnes leaped off the table and pirouetted his way to the coffee machine.

Dumbstruck, Tony looked around the kitchen. ”I can’t believe I’m the only person who witnessed that.”

Barnes just laughed as he poured a cup of coffee for himself.

Tony shook his head. ”Are you going to be like this from now on? Perpetually high on endorphins?”

Barnes sipped his drink and smugly replied: ”That depends on Steve, doesn't it?”

Before Tony could roll his eyes Barnes continued: ”By the way, great job keeping our kiss secret.”

”Okay, first – not our kiss but yours. _You_ kissed _me_. Second –” Tony held up his hand. ”Okay, I don’t have a second point, but the first one is important enough that I’m going to repeat it. There was no _our_ kiss. You lost your mind and what resulted was the least thrilling experience of my life.”

____

____

Barnes narrowed his eyes. ”Excuse me? Least thrilling?”

”In college, I once smooched a dead lobster as a dare and even that was more exciting.”

”If it was so bad why do I remember you pushing your tongue in my mouth?”

”As far I know, a bit of tongue is a customary kissing-technique,” Tony said.

”Did you stick your tongue inside the lobster?”

Tony was aware this was exactly the sort of situation Wilson had the habit of interrupting, and since the man had returned to the compound just this morning, odds were not on his side. 

Yet, he didn’t really have it in his character to not try to have the last word and there was something appealing about this lighthearted side of Barnes that pulled Tony in. So, knowing that he was probably going to pay for it, he took the bait.

”The mouth on average lobster is too small for a human tongue – ” he stated before finishing with: ”so it should fit you just right if you’re looking for a masturbatory aid.”

Barnes’s eyes were glinting with humor as he answered: ”Me and my tiny penis are taken care of, thanks. So while I have respect for your no doubt vast experience in making out with deceased animals, I’m not in need of advice right now.”

Tony snorted despite himself. ”Take that back,” he said through a grin.

”Me and my _giant_ penis are taken care of, so while I’d turn to you if I was in need of zoophilic advise – _no_ – ” Barnes ended his reply on a cry when Tony surged from his place at the table and for a lack of better idea pulled the coffee cup out of Barnes’s hand and went to hold it above the sink.

”I will upend this if you continue that sentence,” he threatened. 

It wasn’t, of course, a real threat since the coffee pot was still half full but Barnes played along.

”First you insult me and now this? Just admit the kiss was the best you’ve had since – I don’t know, the last time you visited a sea-food market.”

”Alright, do you want it signed? Bucky Barnes, almost as bad a kisser as a dead fish. I can do that.”

A testament to his good mood, Barnes didn’t try to deny it further – even when it wasn’t really true. Yes, the kiss hadn’t been anything to write home about, Tony putting in most of the effort, but it obviously wasn’t meant to be fireworks in the first place.

”I was in a weird place,” Barnes said. ”And confused by your beard.”

”My beard?” Tony repeated and put the coffee cup down. ”That’s not very homosexual of you. If men aren’t your thing, perhaps bedding the six-foot-two beefcake was a mistake.”

”I didn’t exactly go around kissing guys around the block way back when. I wasn’t looking for trouble,” Bucky said. ”And everybody was clean-shaven in the Army.”

Tony thought that over. ”Gaying it up was too dangerous in the city but not in the Army during the war?”

Bucky shrugged. ”In Brooklyn, I thought I had a future. And I wasn’t – it wasn’t anything special, later. Not like you make it sound like. Just a few men, fast, clothes mostly on. I don’t even remember their names.”

”Did Steve know?”

Shaking his head, Barnes said: ”No. I didn’t do any of that after they took us prisoners and Steve saved us, wasn’t really interested. And now we were a small group, no chance really, anyway. Maybe on downtime. But, you know…”

”Hmm?”

”There was the little thing where my best friend turned up having turned into a heart-stopping stunner overnight. It took me a while to get used to it and I tried no to, you know, think about him like that. I – I really tried.”

Tony tried to imagine it, someone you knew suddenly changing that much. Must have been weird.

”Didn’t work out?” Tony guessed.

Barnes’s face went through a few emotions, settling on wry amusement. He chuckled and then jumped up to sit on the kitchen counter, legs hanging in the air.

”You know, he could be so oblivious,” Barnes said.

Tony was feeling surprised this was turning into the second honest conversation they’d had in the past week. He was surprised but found it wasn’t unwelcome. Curious to hear Barnes’s stories he pulled himself a chair, said: ”More than now?”

Barnes grinned. ”We shared a tent or a room, most times. He didn’t have to, captain and all, but he insisted. He never noticed how hard it was for me to keep my eyes to myself when he was in the middle of a change. Once, back in London, the first time we had a night off. We turn in, getting ready for bed in our room, both of us. He just strips off, all of it. Says, ’what do you think, Bucky?’”

”No, he didn’t,” Tony groaned.

”He did. I was, you know, dying,” Barnes said, ”trying not to get turned on. And it wasn’t weird or anything, I’d certainly seen him naked dozens of times before, and he wanted to share it. It was a big deal to him. I think I pulled a muscle in my jaw, biting my teeth together so hard.”

Tony laughed. ”What did you say?”

”’Jesus Christ, save it for Carter’,” Steve said, walking into the kitchen. He stopped next to where Barnes was sitting on the counter.

Barnes gave Steve a sheepish smile, but his voice had an undercurrent of something steely in it. ”After which I said that you are amazing, but that would be true with or without the perfect body.”

”Shut up,” Steve said, smiling.

”That’s what he said then, too,” Barnes commented.

”Are you two gossiping?” Steve asked, then, taking really in the situation, them sitting there all relaxed, coffees forgotten some time ago.

Tony locked eyes with Barnes. There was a threat in the air: you mention the kiss again and I will tell him about the lobster.

”Just reminiscing about all the times you exhibited particular thickness,” Barnes teased, instead.

For a minute it seemed like Steve might just take it, but then he got a glint in his eyes. ”You mean like last night?”

Tony barked a laugh, finding the playful banter between the star-crossed geriatric lovers amusing. 

”Ironically enough, RoboCop has stopped talking about your bedroom antics now that he’d have something to talk about,” Tony remarked. Then, against his better judgment, maybe because he was still kind of feeling the energy from their earlier seafood-themed, homoerotic argument – or perhaps it was the fact that he didn’t feel like the third wheel even with the Greatest Generation getting their act on – he continued: ”If I’d known all it took to silence your tales of wishful fornication was a couple of orgasms, I might have volunteered a hand. Public service, I don’t think Pepper would have minded.”

Barnes’s eyes widened but he looked like he was trying to not laugh, no doubt enjoying Tony going too far when there was an audience. Steve, on the other hand, turned to really look at him, eyebrows raised.

Knowing trying to explain would just be digging the hole deeper, Tony chose to pretend like he hadn’t just made a proposition of a kind to Barnes. 

”Speaking of which, I’m flying to LA tonight. Date night, you know how it is,” he said and stood up. ”I’ll be back in a few days barring emergencies.”

”We’ll hold down the fort,” Steve replied, though his face hadn’t still returned fully from the frown. 

Tony started to make his way out of the kitchen and the situation. ”Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he said, striving for normalcy.

Steve, the bastard, asked dryly: ”So sex with Bucky’s still on the table?”

”Oh my God,” Wilson, Tony’s new guardian angel – guardian bird? – grouched, arriving too at the communal kitchen that seemed to have become the stage for all the embarrassing scenes in Tony’s recent life. Why he still used it, he didn’t know. ”You’re all still weird?”

Grasping at the opportunity Wilson’s arrival had created, Tony said: ”That word makes me feel unsafe. My therapist says ’eccentric’.”

Wilson snorted. ”I’ll show you unsafe.”

”Thanks, but no thanks,” Tony said, continuing: ”Great to see you all, gotta go now.” He nodded to the room at large but didn’t – couldn’t – catch anybody’s eye as he hightailed out of there.

Jesus. 

Alright. That conversation was going into the Z folder of his mind, the unused attic in his memory palace. 

Time out in LA sounded just like the thing.


End file.
